I’ve been able to do whatever I felt like without consulting a soul.  It’s been rather nice not to have to speak to someone – not to ask “what would you like for dinner?” or “can we watch a boring documentary tonight?” or “can we open a bottle of wine?”  I don’t have to ask myself a single thing.  Yes, we can do all of those things.  I didn’t feel guilty about spending hours at a salon having my hair done.  Granted, that’s one of my least favorite past-times, more so when I don’t feel well, but I didn’t feel like I was taking my time away from anyone else.  It was mine alone to squander.  I read a ton.  I watched two movies I doubt Justin would have much interest in. Granted, we called each other perpetually and I sent him lots of photos.  I definitely wouldn’t prefer this more isolated lifestyle long-term, but it actually was a fairly pleasant respite.  The puppies didn’t seem to mind too much either, as they had practically the entire bed to themselves.

I also had some time this weekend to add a small feature to our website, which I hope to build on.  I simply changed my “2010 Goals” page to a “Randomness” page and added sections for  readings +  quotes.  Hopefully this will allow me to share more literary findings with you, my loyal readers. ;)   Though there isn’t much there now, it’s sort of meant to send you off on an entertaining, time-squandering internet expedition.  I hope you enjoy!  Now I am off to the airport to pick up my weary travelers.  Adieu!

Forest Park in Autumn

Also, I’ve added photos to flickr of my wanderings with Justin.  Take a walk in Forest Park, visit the western Catskills, and check out Salem for Halloween.

Wondering what caused me to do this?
The whole purpose of doing this was because… I felt like it. :)  It was a good feeling to write something with no purpose and without real concern over whether it would be good or not.  It reminded me of high school, when creative writing was fun and something I did for the hell of it.

Take a gander at my little story.  I’ll see about typing up the last little bit tomorrow.

I thought it might be cool to open this up to anyone that felt like continuing the story, writing down a parallel path, or hell, even just adding a sentence.  But I know no one will feel like doing that, nor have the time, so I’ll relieve you of the pressure.

Why share this thing now, tonight, when I actually worked on it months ago?
A friend of mine mentioned something today that sent me down a path of looking up the portfolio sites of coworkers (past and present).  That then led me to perusing some of my own older sites and old communities I used to be a part of… I ended up closing out old accounts in the process, but it reminded me how creative I can be and how I am actually pretty good at design.  In short, it made me feel like sharing something somewhat creative.  There ya have it… G’nite.

We are living in the petri dish of our own halfway point.  The organizing, cleaning, exercise, and motivation has ceased.  We wait to see what will happen.  If anything will grow.

Ambition has ground to a halt.  Projects have paused midstream.  They often do.  Everything is on hiatus.  When left to its own devices, nature breaks things down – rot, weakness, crumbling, oblivion are inevitable.

Is there beauty in dystopia?  We used to think so. We were children (”We are all just foolish children, searching desperately for ourselves, and in that struggle, we are lost.” – Me circa 1995/1996) and everything we thought or wept meant so much.  It was never “Now what?” but always “What’s next?”  The world was rife with beauty, sorrow, loneliness, and possibilities – even in the futile sameness I perceived was out there.  My isolated, questioning tears seemed so significant.

We write things off as “the angst of youth.”  For us, it was a time of self-centered importance, to be sure, but also of analysis, of well thought out arguments lasting into the early morning hours.  Of ideas that created stories, self-published magazines, performances, and, yes, philosophical movements.  It was a time of possibility and action. Not, as now, of taking things at face value.  Accepting and not questioning.  Taking what is offered without striving for personal goals and growth.

These are the thoughts preventing my sleep tonight, probably because I’ve got a meeting with a tech recruiter tomorrow which has made me introspective.  In my dreams last night I was a super hero, graced with exceptional speed and the power to manipulate objects with my mind, but I was unable to achieve my desired transformation – to dissolve into a billion particles and disperse.  To escape the evil pursuers attempting to capture me and obtain the information I was privy to. (I don’t recall what this was.)  I wonder if we’ll ever understand the significance of dreams…

Is this odd, in-between place really where true change occurs?  Is the past gone forever?  Or, more importantly, are those people that we were gone forever?

Sheila holds Ollie, her creation

A few weeks back, Justin and I were in Brooklyn for an innocent night of TV watching with fellow entertainment addicts.  One of the gals there suggested I attempt to write for the Examiner website.  Her friend was doing it and, apparently, it’s something you can get paid for.  Being in dire need of income, I decided to give it a shot.  After applying for an “adventure travel examiner” position, I received the “outdoor examiner” slot.  Apparently they’re still waiting for their adventure writer to get started, but outdoors is …sort of… …almost… the same.  At any rate, I’ve already earned a whole dollar so far!:D

OK, obviously this is not going to be about the money.  But why not write?  Why not have something positive to focus on that I love doing and a quasi-justifiable reason for doing it?  That’s the way I am looking at this endeavor.  So far, I have written one article on ice climbing in the Catskills and another on vacationing in Rincon, Puerto Rico.  More will surely follow.  Check out my New York Outdoor Examiner page and click my bio to expand that section!  :)

Table of amuse-bouches and finger sandwiches

In other news, my cousin Sheila’s baby shower was onthe 14th.  Val! and I helped Mom get ready for it, as did lots of other family members (notably Sha Sha, Linda and Leanne).  Val! wanted to make some amuse-bouches for the party.  I was her sous chef.  Everything went off remarkably well!  Check out my photos here, Val!’s here, and Sheila’s here.

Hiking near Red Lodge

First of all, check out my photos from Montana including my brief stopover in Denver.  Warning: too many self-portraits.  There are some lovely scenic shots though. ;)

This morning I wanted to spend some time writing but I was uninspired so I just decided to describe a bit of mine and Justin’s journey home from Brooklyn last night.

Last Night

We stumbled every few steps over the uneven sidewalk, scarred as it was with thick bands of wild grass, broken and even shattered to bits in some areas from neglect…  The streetlights became soft orbs of light in the humid night air. On a bridge in the distance, the line of lights was distorted so everything glowed, seemingly uniform.  To our east, a fair distance beyond the nearest buildings and the river, the city was entirely obscured by the thick, hazy moisture.  All we could tell of the city was a strange purple glow, refusing to acknowledge the presence of a sunless sky – ignoring the notion of twinkling stars above.

Calvary Cemetery by Tony the Misfit

An impressive cemetery stretched out along the western side of the street.  All the stones were black, slate, grey.  Towering obelisks and massive crosses crowded together, interspersed with hulking sepulchers.  As crowded in life as in death in this city of ours.  We could’ve been in New Orleans – my imagination readily allowed.  My companion snickered as we clambered passed the Best Western City View Hotel.  All of the windows facing the cemetery were frosted.  I suppose this was out of concern for their customers rather than deference toward the dead. It would’ve disappointed me had I stayed there.  The cemetery was really quite lovely, and at sunset, I imagine it would be breathtaking to behold filled with warm golden light.

We walked into a more residential neighborhood where the sidewalks notably improved.  Spanish voices serenaded our march as a mother ushered in her little children at 10PM – their playground an empty street with one lone Latin bar.  I suspected that the bar was completely abandoned, though the loud music emanating from within suggested otherwise.

A few minutes later we came to the corner of a couple of streets flanked by tall, red brick apartment buildings and spotted a small yellow cab.  It was one of the new, more energy-efficient hybrid models.  We were lucky to flag it down easily.  Upon climbing in I was surprised to discover that the safety glass I’d become accustom to which separated driver from patron was non-existent in this state-of-the-art vehicle.  I wonder if it speaks to the current safety of New York city streets or something else entirely that has yet to occur to me.  I gave the driver our address and we sped quickly home.

Justin and I spent the afternoon wandering around Forest Hills. Today I woke up and wrote a bit on the novel Val! and I are co-authoring. She’s much more motivated about it than I am. I’ve only written on it twice and, in total, it is probably 5 pages long. Val’s effort and output is at least 4 times that of my own.

I trace my fingers along the top-most ledge of Sacre Couer’s grand entry – what a spectacular view of Paris. The seedy underbelly begins at the base below. The hostels, hookers, ‘red light district.’ Beyond, there is a mosque, there stands the Eiffel Tour, so proud now so many years after its birth into a society that completely detested it.

Justin woke up and we just sort of hung around. I read a bit in the book Val! lent me: Time Traveler’s Wife which I am quite enjoying. We headed to Garcia’s for some Mexican food and both left feeling miserably full. We then wandered around a bit trying to locate “something odd” that a new flickr friend of mine told me about. I think I found it! If I am correct about this oddity, it is the arch in this photo. It definitely looks a bit out of place between these two drab apartment buildings in Queens. I wonder why it’s there and what it represents…

After shooting up a storm, Justin and I decided it was time to do a little shopping. I purchased a pair of blue jeans and a pair of slacks and. as shopping generally bums me out, it was good that we went for massages immediately afterwards, and bubble tea directly after that. La sigh!

Our last stop was Bath and Body Works, which really lightened my mood. I love spending time in that store, smelling all the new smells and checking out their products and marketing. They might try harder than practically any brand out there to constantly come up with new products and ideas!

I hope you’re all having a great weekend!