New York
Thoughts while riding the E train
Thursday, November 6th, 2008 | Thoughts | 8 Comments
I’m going on my 3rd year in New York right now, but somehow it never seems like I live here. It’s always felt extremely temporary somehow. The thought occurred to me tonight as I was riding the subway into ‘the city’ and feeling the humidity, even though I was many feet below the ground in an enclosed metal tube. I was mentally chastising myself for being surprised at how humid is was with, “What do you expect? We live in a place surrounded by the ocean.” As soon as I had that thought it felt fake to me.
After 2 years in New York, I still don’t feel as though I have ever lived here. Why is that? Is it because I know in my heart I am biding my time? Probably. Moving to NYC is something I did out of coercion—maybe persuasion is a better word. At any rate, I accepted it because I was looking to make a change in my life anyway. Chicago was the city I’d set my sights on, but America’s first city offered me a job, I already had family here, plus my sister was requiring me to go where she did, and Val!’s plans certainly included New York. There was no great reason not to move to New York.
I wonder if the feeling of living a transient existence and just waiting, waiting in limbo, would be the same regardless. I know Texas is in my eventual future, but I’d still like to feel settled and cozy in the interim—like I belong to a place and it to me. Like I have a positive, loving relationship with my current city, as cheesy as that may sound. New York, why are you so elusive? Is it entirely my fault?
I see it from the periphery. I see how cool New York is, how interesting it can be, and what it offers that no place else really does—something for everyone. It’s easy to rebuke NYC for being so hard-nosed, so unfriendly, so not midwestern/southern. I just want, for the rest of the time Justin and I are here, to love it like other people openly love it. I just don’t know if I have it in me.
Side note: On the way to see FIT’s Gothic fashion exhibit today, a black man was handing out a newspaper. The cover said “Racism! Hatred!” He tried to hand it to an Indian man walking right in front of me that did not take it. As I approached, he quickly pulled the magazine away from my sight and back toward himself. Strange, but that happens more than you’d think here. There are religious propaganda spreaders that hang out near Queens Mall preaching that God is black. They approach anyone that looks like a minority, but when I (or another white person) walks by, they back away or turn to someone else. In a way, it’s a bummer. What if it was something I wanted to know about? It’s not like I’ve got religion in my life. ;) Oh well, no biggie.
FIT’s exhibit was amazing and highly, highly recommended. If you like black, lace, Gothic style, or are just curious, you absolutely must check it out! I might write more on this at another time, as I am planning to drag Val! back with me… in full regalia. :)
Top Ten Ways to Tell Fall is Coming
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008 | Seasonal | 3 Comments
My summer violin classes are about over!- Everyone knows Autumn means harvest time for vineyards and wineries and I was just reading about a winery that is opening in Manhattan in the fall.
- JetBlue is having their annual Fall Fare Sale (ends tomorrow though!)
- Fall clothing collections are already being displayed in stores and on websites (BananaRepublic.com anyone?)
- You can already begin planning what you’ll do for Halloween this year as innumerable parties and parades have been scheduled already! What’s better? Halloween is on a Friday this year! Get crackin’ on your Halloween planning.
- It’s already getting dark earlier. Have you noticed?
- Football teams are in their Fall training camps (c’mon, people, don’t ya know this?… Didn’t go to high school in Texas, then, didja?)
- The long, golden shafts of sunlight are beginning to appear in the afternoons, ushering in the beautiful, magical feeling of Fall.
- It’s getting down to the 40s in the Catskills at night and some leaves are already changing! Feel free to read more about the seasons in the Catskills.
- Everything in Texas is good and dead from the looong, hot summer.
Ponderings in the Shower
Friday, July 4th, 2008 | Thoughts | 1 Comment
Written July 2, 2008: I moved to New York City so I could become complacent with my life. My life here is no bigger or smaller than it’s ever been - neither more nor less important.
In a way, it *feels* a little bigger because of this enormously populated, exaggeratedly important city. Everyone knows of it, speaks of it, longs to be here for one reason or another even if they’re at the furthest corners of the world. Movies are filmed here, books are written here, tv shows are shot here… It’s definitely recognizable, and being even slightly affiliated with a place so well-known and lusted after makes my life feel just a millimeter more significant.
But in other ways, I am much more isolated in this cut-throat, self-serving, me-first sort of city. I lost it the other night, crying to Justin and wondering if I’d ever have any real friends again.
July 4, 2008: Happy birthday, Michieru. Hope you’re making the most of it!
Kaaterskill Falls… Falls
Sunday, June 29th, 2008 | Adventure, Family, Photography | 6 Comments
So, I had this determined idea yesterday that we (my mom, Val!, Justin and myself) would go hiking and kayaking this weekend in upstate NY. Joey joined us as well. Without ample preparation and having missed the New Paltz turn off where we anticipated our Saturday evening hike, we headed into Saugerties and I got directions from a local that suggested two different hikes. Val! liked the idea of the Kaaterskill Falls Trail over the scenic overlook trail, so we were off in the direction of Hunter Mountain.
The trail was beautiful… Lush green trees densely crowded the muddy, rocky path which ran alongside a creek. In the creek were glistening silver-gray rocks and many levels of small falls, creating a beautiful visual effect as well as a musical audible effect throughout our hike, which was a half mile in length and took us upwards to the main attraction: a gorge into which a tall, thin, cool waterfall streamed. Val! and I made it there first and excitedly headed towards the falls. It was during this time of mindless hurry that I slipped on a wet rock and sent my left foot (and force of my body) into a hole surrounded by rocks. One of these rocks was incredibly sharp… As I extracted my leg, I noticed a deep gash exposing flesh and white fat folded up under the skin. The first words out of my mouth were “E.R.”
After Justin bandaged my leg with part of Joey’s shirt, we all headed back to the car and to the nearest emergency room. It’s never nice to hear a doctor refer to your cut as a gaping wound… even though that’s exactly what it was.
The worst part of the experience: Other than seeing the initial, frightening damage, the worst part (by far) were the numerous, painful shots I received to my wound area prior to being stitched up (10 stitches). I lost it and ended up crying…
The best part of the experience: Having my loving family there for me… Thanks Mom, Val! and Justin.
Things like this really help put life into perspective… And also remind me to be more careful. This is the third time in 3 weeks I’ve hurt myself, and the second time I slid off a rock and hurt myself. Sheesh.
Inexplicable Anxiety
Wednesday, June 4th, 2008 | News, Positivity | 5 Comments
I’ve been feeling a jazzy, energetic, strange anxiety today. It’s not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good either. It’s fueled by a multitude of things, I imagine, such as tons of different tasks I must accomplish from work, the democratic nominee being named, the US airline industry falling into ruin, and looming violin lessons in my future…
My anxiety could simply be because I’ve ingested too much coffee this morning. It could be because Obama won the democratic nomination (which I am not thrilled about). It could be because airlines seem to be dropping like flies (SilverJet, Eos, SkyBus). Those that are hanging on may not be around for much longer (United cutting capacity and jobs, American charging for everything, Frontier in bankruptcy and possibly closing down, Spirit making cuts to jobs and bases… etc.).
In general, I am worried about our careers - Justin with JetBlue and me in the travel/tourism industry. There seems to be an electric charge to everything. I imagine this is because most Americans are just waiting for the bottom to fall out of the semi-secure environment we’ve been living in for the last two decades. Even with the hardships after 9/11 and the first dotcom bubble burst, we’ve had some stability. Americans have been able to afford vacations, air travel, trips abroad, and the like.
Now that our dollar is in the toilet, airlines are shutting down, and people can’t even afford gas to go to-and-from work (yes - a lady in Texas told me it cost her more than $25 just to drive into work and back home) I just wonder what, if anything, is seriously going to change. Will our economy continue its steady decline? Will things stabilize where they are now? Will things improve? Time will tell, I suppose.
Life continues at it’s own comfortable pace for Justin and I at the moment. We watched Up the Yangtze last night, which was an interesting film; sad at points, slow at others, but always allowing you a glimpse into a wholly different culture where people are still, surprisingly, the same. Teenagers still have the same hormones, feelings, and rebellious nature. People are born believing they are entitled to more than is easily within their reach. I recommend seeing this movie if you have the opportunity. I feel very lucky to live in New York City where I can easily catch such a film. Quad Cinemas is showing it through Thursday if you can run down and see it by then.
I am taking a trial violin lesson next Tuesday to find out whether or not I want to pay for a series of classes. I am hoping so. It would be so nice to be able to play an instrument, especially such an aurally beautiful one.
Happy Val! - Photo Walk
Friday, April 18th, 2008 | Family, Photography | 1 Comment
Vallie! came over tonight so we could walk around in Forest Hills Gardens taking nighttime pictures. It was a nice, relaxing evening punctuated by happy banter and lots of blurry, orange photos. I still like the way they came out, particularly because I got a few nice pix of Val! enjoying herself! :)
Archives
Friends
Search
Categories
What we're reading
