ramblings
Letter to God, Letter to the World
Friday, July 25th, 2008 | Popular, Positivity | 6 Comments
Dear God, World, Universe, Energy - whatever is out there…
I want to create and live off of my creations. I want to create by myself. I want to create with other people. I want to write, sing, make movies (documentaries for now). I want to help others get published and get published myself. I want to take photographs and sell them. I want Justin and I to take photographs together and travel the world. I want to make videos with Val! and have a following of people that are genuinely interested. I want us to be able to sustain a nice living off of these projects. I want to create, love and be happy - and I want the same for my loved ones and all those that want this for themselves, too.
I want life to be “how it should be.” A community of good people, good friends, creating, enjoying, being out there in the world and really living and experiencing it all.
Thanks for the thunderstorm the other night. That was a great birthday present. And thanks in advance, for the future.
Love,
Ness
“one of these days all we’ll do is create and live off of it, and travel and enjoy it all”
Ponderings in the Shower
Friday, July 4th, 2008 | Thoughts | 1 Comment
Written July 2, 2008: I moved to New York City so I could become complacent with my life. My life here is no bigger or smaller than it’s ever been - neither more nor less important.
In a way, it *feels* a little bigger because of this enormously populated, exaggeratedly important city. Everyone knows of it, speaks of it, longs to be here for one reason or another even if they’re at the furthest corners of the world. Movies are filmed here, books are written here, tv shows are shot here… It’s definitely recognizable, and being even slightly affiliated with a place so well-known and lusted after makes my life feel just a millimeter more significant.
But in other ways, I am much more isolated in this cut-throat, self-serving, me-first sort of city. I lost it the other night, crying to Justin and wondering if I’d ever have any real friends again.
July 4, 2008: Happy birthday, Michieru. Hope you’re making the most of it!
Inexplicable Anxiety
Wednesday, June 4th, 2008 | News, Positivity | 5 Comments
I’ve been feeling a jazzy, energetic, strange anxiety today. It’s not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good either. It’s fueled by a multitude of things, I imagine, such as tons of different tasks I must accomplish from work, the democratic nominee being named, the US airline industry falling into ruin, and looming violin lessons in my future…
My anxiety could simply be because I’ve ingested too much coffee this morning. It could be because Obama won the democratic nomination (which I am not thrilled about). It could be because airlines seem to be dropping like flies (SilverJet, Eos, SkyBus). Those that are hanging on may not be around for much longer (United cutting capacity and jobs, American charging for everything, Frontier in bankruptcy and possibly closing down, Spirit making cuts to jobs and bases… etc.).
In general, I am worried about our careers - Justin with JetBlue and me in the travel/tourism industry. There seems to be an electric charge to everything. I imagine this is because most Americans are just waiting for the bottom to fall out of the semi-secure environment we’ve been living in for the last two decades. Even with the hardships after 9/11 and the first dotcom bubble burst, we’ve had some stability. Americans have been able to afford vacations, air travel, trips abroad, and the like.
Now that our dollar is in the toilet, airlines are shutting down, and people can’t even afford gas to go to-and-from work (yes - a lady in Texas told me it cost her more than $25 just to drive into work and back home) I just wonder what, if anything, is seriously going to change. Will our economy continue its steady decline? Will things stabilize where they are now? Will things improve? Time will tell, I suppose.
Life continues at it’s own comfortable pace for Justin and I at the moment. We watched Up the Yangtze last night, which was an interesting film; sad at points, slow at others, but always allowing you a glimpse into a wholly different culture where people are still, surprisingly, the same. Teenagers still have the same hormones, feelings, and rebellious nature. People are born believing they are entitled to more than is easily within their reach. I recommend seeing this movie if you have the opportunity. I feel very lucky to live in New York City where I can easily catch such a film. Quad Cinemas is showing it through Thursday if you can run down and see it by then.
I am taking a trial violin lesson next Tuesday to find out whether or not I want to pay for a series of classes. I am hoping so. It would be so nice to be able to play an instrument, especially such an aurally beautiful one.
How Time Changes Us
Thursday, April 3rd, 2008 | Photography, Thoughts | No Comments
Val! was sharing old photos with me. She sent one of herself, my cousin Karen and me all dressed up and ready for a night of clubbing. I remember the night and all of our photos fondly. We actually met a club-photographer that night and had a good time. He was the first of that type I’d ever met, though certainly not the last. At any rate, I was feeling sad, not to mention older, looking at the photo and thinking of old relationships. For instance, I haven’t talked to Karen in years, which is sad because she is a cool chick and we grew up together. Life is odd - how we fall away from one another. At any rate, in the depths of my melancholy, which I was sharing with Justin, he sent me a photo from last weekend. Wow! How times change. For your viewing pleasure (you may want to enlarge these):
 Taking harp lessons in Stowe in 2008. |
 Going out clubbing with Val! and Karen circa 2001. |
Yesterday was a bit mleh
Friday, March 28th, 2008 | Negativity, Photography, Puppies | 1 Comment
As you can see, there is an awesome photo attached to this post of Justin walking Ruby and Eve. For some reason I was just in such a crappy mood yesterday… I was in the doldrums. I’ve been slipping into that mentality a bit this week and it really sucks. I hate it when I get that way, mostly because I feel like pretty much nothing I do matters. I feel worthless when I get like that. It’s so depressing.
As I was checking out at the grocery store today, an elderly woman spoke to two young men that were sitting near some newspapers and asked “Do you sell any papers that only have good news? …No? Shame.” :) I like the way she thinks.
Good News:
Tomorrow, Justin and I are escaping to Stowe, VT for a weekend of snowshoeing and relaxing at the Trapp Family Lodge. Roxors! I should definitely have no problem having photo fodder from this weekend. :)
Val!’s been kind enough to watch the puppies while we’re gone. Yeehee!!!
Life After SXSW Interactive
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 | Thoughts | 3 Comments
We’ve been back from SXSWi for about a week now but have yet to post. Yes, we are still alive after SXSWi - although, I feel, only barely. I am sick, you see. Stress, many humans to come in contact with, chatting in close quarters, alcohol lowering the immune system, constantly on the go with conference panels all day and parties most of the nights… well - it is easy to see why I am sick when you couple all of the above with traveling in a small metal tube with a hundred other folks.
Blahhh…
I got some interesting notes from a few of the panels if anyone wants them. I still have podcasts to watch from the panels I missed.
Sickness history:
Saturday - Kinda sick but thought it was just allergies to dust as Justin and I spent hours cleaning the bedroom.
Sunday - The great cleaning revolution ground to a halt when I woke up with a fever, extremely sore throat, miserable congestion, body aches, etc.
Monday - I was hella productive work-wise and felt as though I was recovering with minor symptoms remaining such as sore through, sinus irritation, small headache, etc.
Tuesday (today!) - Wake up feeling like hell. Just do not want to get out of bed. Incredibly sore throat, sinus problems, some aches, some fever. Stared at the “to do list” I’ve created for myself and stumbled through one or two items in the morning before slipping into a state of near-complete lack of productivity. Justin brings me chicken noodle soup for lunch which I hurriedly scarf down. Research and create SEO optimized landing page for Peru with travel related keywords. Hopefully we’ll see some results in a week. I am hoping to get two more SEO pages built tomorrow.
I move at a snail’s pace on any sort of writing project anyway it seems. If you’re an SEO expert and check out the page above (although the likelihood of that happening are 1 in a million) and have some tips for me, feel free to share. I am always open for suggestions.
At any rate, I had to cancel the plans I’d made to see and catch up with Matt tonight which disappoints me. I hope I feel better tomorrow otherwise I’ll be canceling even more plans. I hate how sickness can blast your work life and social life. Mleh
Good news (there is always good news even if I am grumpy):
Morgan got a much deserved promotion at JetBlue. He is now a Manager! w00t
Reshma accepted a kickass job offer from MTV.
Justin has reaffirmed he is a sweetheart by taking care of me these last three days and freaking out when he catches me doing chores. <3 I love you sweetie - even if you are a glum fairy sometimes.
Did anyone do anything interesting for St. Patrick’s day? Justin and I went to an Irish pub in the neighborhood for dinner.
Update your blogs and LJs, people.
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